Facing Discouragement...Growing from A Low Place.

The reason I have waited so long to post is not due to lack of projects to write about, rather the lack of work I feel good about. I have hit some nice walls over the past few months that have been used to grow me as a husband, man, and actor. All actors have work they are not particularly proud of. So, what do you do with it?

I submitted for a role that called for an actor who can handle "extremely emotional scenes". The role was of a boyfriend who has a mentally sick girlfriend (nut shelled), but we were only going to shoot a trailer for the short film. We meet up in Bronxville and right away started to discuss the shoot for that day. To cut to the chase I was not feeling it at all during the most important scene. I felt like I was acting rather than experiencing truth.

In my mind i was searching for someone to blame. "Ahh, the director wasn't directing, my partner isn't being real, it's the writing the writing is weak!! I am hard on myself as most actors are so I will usually default to my responsibilities as the performer and end up with the finger pointing at no one but me.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter who's fault it is, but what can be gleaned from the shoot. My wife is irreplaceable as a source of encouragement. She reminds me of God's will in my life and my relationship with Him and that I can rely on Him. She reminded me of growing from a place that has room to grow. "Isaac you keep learning new things that you can take away from each and every job, so remember what you learned from this for next time."

For me it is not about relying on myself and how great I can be, but rather realizing that I am loved by an awesome God who, in fact is the Creator of all things. I believe I was created in His image and likeness which is why I desire to, in turn, create. I will post this as an honest statement that I am not disillusioned and look forward the hard work and growth ahead.

Remind Rewind: A short Film

Three weeks ago I received an email from my good friend Kevin Foong about a Frenchmen in need of an actor. David Dang was the man from France that i met with to see if we were a fit, and I can tell you that we were, right from the start. He and I spoke for at least an hour at Starbucks on 71st and Broadway, about his vision and about our common interests. I was picked to be the male lead in his short film which is always a nice feeling.



So I am learning a lot about the things that can go wrong on a shoot if you can classify the sun not staying exactly where you want it to in sky as something going wrong. Even in the shortest of short films time can be your worse enemy because like my buddy Josh G. always quotes "You can make time and you can lose time, but you will never find time." Time=Light When you are shooting on a absolutely gorgeous sun drenched day. I did not love my performance...I felt unnatural and somewhat cliché in most of my lines. Now it is possible that I was just stuck in my head allowing the stress of the time crunch to weigh in on my performance, or I could have been off in general.



I have some great take- aways from this shoot that i plan to "put in my hopper" so I am content with the job. David is a talent that keeps on honing his skills with each and every piece of work he puts his hand to. We plan to work on something the next time he is in NYC or I am in Paris. So "THIS IS SUPA COOL FOR ME."

Life Vest Inside-Commercial Shoot

Over the past week I had the pleasure of working with a cast and crew of really great people on a commercial shoot. If you have ever needed a little bit of kindness added to your life then you will be glad to know Life Vest Inside is a movement of just that, kindness. Orly Wahba is an extraordinary woman who has been inspired to start this movement of kindness by implementing it into the education system here in NYC. She would tell you is not enough to just do an act of kindness here and there, but to bekindness.

The actual shot was a very ambitious one, due to the fact that there were no cuts and we had roughly 6 hours to get it. It was one continuous shot following the flow of kindness from character to character around a whole city block. Every one of the cast members, principles and extras alike had to have their timing perfect without being overly focused on the blocking. There were unforeseen technical difficulties that stole away 4 hours of light from the shoot so we all had to get it right with less room for mistakes than was planned. Shooting on a Red camera may get you a beautiful shot, but with every wonderful piece of equipment you are susceptible to equally wonderful problems. I still have a lot to learn about all that goes on behind the camera, however I do know that a RED camera can fry a piece of equipment and cause a delay that keeps me sweating in my suit 4 hours longer than I thought I would have to. :)

It was kind of amazing to see so many things go wrong, yet everyone kept a smile on their face and stay committed to the heart of the movement. Orly would stop by every single person involved and pour out encouragement that really helped to keep the moral high. I pray I get to work with more people like her, because it felt like family, not just "we are here to work," which is refreshing.

After a long day of being in my black suit in near 100 degree weather, hours of technical difficulties, and eating far too much pizza we ended up getting some really nice shots. Life Vest Inside has just begun and I hope it grows to be something more than just a nice thought, but a provoking movement.

I hope to grow in my ability to blog this stuff out in more interesting ways, so bear with me.